


i'm missing half of me, when we're apart

by moonode



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, post-disbandment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:33:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29286090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonode/pseuds/moonode
Summary: Chanhee was supposed to be happy for his best friend’s engagement.
Relationships: Choi Chanhee | New/Ji Changmin | Q
Kudos: 27





	i'm missing half of me, when we're apart

**Author's Note:**

> title song: if i could fly - one direction

Today was just like any other day for Chanhee, and he’s obviously getting tired of the same routine. It doesn’t make it better considering he had to drive through the layers of snow.

Once Chanhee made it to his apartment, having been carrying out groceries and other necessities a typical person would need, his phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket. Annoyed, Chanhee pulled it out. He’s expecting either a saesang, his manager or-

“Finally, you picked up for once!”

The familiar voice of Sunwoo rang into Chanhee’s mind, he sounded so relief too that the ex-bandmate had finally picked up the phone.

Chanhee dropped his groceries on the ground, putting his phone against his ear. “Sunwoo? What’s the rush?”

“Rush? I’m just asking if you’ve seen Changmin’s message on the old group chat.”

The moment Sunwoo mentioned Changmin, he already knew what had happened. Chanhee heard it a million times, and it slowly started to feed away his heart.

That message, from The Boyz group chat he barely checks nowadays.

He knew about what happened with Changmin, that message still ran through his mind. Chanhee was happy for Changmin and his fiance of course, but there was a feeling that he couldn’t control. Seeing his best friend falling in love with someone else, it made Chanhee wonder what would’ve happened if he had just told Changmin how he felt.

Chanhee brushed off the feeling, steering away from it as quickly as possible. He shouldn’t be thinking about this anymore, he’s old enough to stop having a puppy crush on-

“Uh, Hello? Earth to Chanhee?” 

“Sorry, I just needed to lock my apartment door.” Chanhee replied, pulling out all his groceries on the kitchen table.

Sunwoo is skeptical about the excuse, but doesn’t question Chanhee’s antics anyways. “Are you going to congratulate Changmin on getting a fiance?”  
“Obviously not because I’m totally not friends with Changmin.” Chanhee said sarcastically. “Is that even a question, Sunwoo?”

“You sound so annoyed, hyung.” Sunwoo commented, starting to notice how Chanhee felt with Changmin being engaged. 

“I know.”

“Oh.”

Chanhee sat from one of the kitchen stools, rubbing his forehead. “Sunwoo, can you just, please call me back later?”

He felt guilt crawling back onto him as Sunwoo reassured him and reminded that he was always there if Chanhee wanted to open up before hanging up the call.

Chanhee sat there after putting down the phone, he felt numb. 

It doesn’t matter if he congratulates Changmin now or later, he will get the same answer as always. A simple thank you, to remind Chanhee that Changmin had always - and never, felt the same for him.

Well, Chanhee didn’t want to waste time any longer. He might as well do it so he wouldn’t have to dread over this ever again.

It takes Chanhee a moment for him to pick up his phone. He repeated the same message over and over again, hoping that it wasn’t too clichè. Scrolling through his contact list, he finally found Changmin’s number, the contact photo being him and Chanhee at their old dorm. 

Chanhee frowned at the image, realising that it was probably taken back when they were idols. Changmin barely spoke to Chanhee anyway, so there was no point in changing the photo every-so often.

When Chanhee pressed the call button, he immediately regretted his decision as Changmin had picked up the phone in an instant.

“Hey,” Changmin started off, making Chanhee’s heart go faster. “this is Chanhee, right?”

Chanhee wanted to hang up so badly, it was only then his heart was starting to break apart. His voice becomes more fake and strained off, a broken record. 

“Yeah, this is Chanhee.” Chanhee responded, chuckling a little afterwards. “Sorry if I called you at the wrong time-”

“No, no, Chanhee that’s fine.” Changmin interrupted, he sounded so relaxed and happy. It was almost like he couldn’t stop thinking about being engaged. “I’m so glad you finally called me.”

The older’s heart ached once more, the way Changmin was speaking to him again like he was relieved that Chanhee wasn’t dead. 

Eventually, the words got out of Chanhee’s chest and he knew what he wanted to say to his best friend. 

“Congrats on getting engaged.” Chanhee said, his heart carved into half as it sunk towards the bottom of his stomach. If only he wasn’t too closed minded, if only Chanhee would have listened to himself.

After a few seconds of static silence, Chanhee continued forward. 

“Ji Changmin, I’ve known you for all my life from when we first trained together, all the way until we held hands in the final concert. You’ve come a long way, and I’m happy that you have found someone that you would have a mutual love for.”

Chanhee’s hand started to shake. Memories flashed onto Chanhee’s mind, remembering the time when the two of them were together, making each other laugh.

“I hope that your future together is full of love and happiness, your fiance is so lucky to have you as a loving husband.”

Changmin laughed softly at Chanhee’s words, he found himself getting flustered hearing other people say how lucky his fiance was.

“We may not be as close as before but I’ll never forget you. I won’t forget every present you bought for me, every place we’ve been through and every memory we made together. Even without my presence, please always be happy.”

At this moment, Changmin knew that Chanhee was in love with him. He felt stupid that it took him so long to realise it, but it’s too late. His heart was already connected to someone else.

“I’m sorry if you knew already. But don’t let that get to you in any way, please.” 

Changmin’s heart doesn’t feel a single beat, he’s all caught up with the thought of having his wedding kiss with his fiance. But he listened to Chanhee anyway, just not exactly paying attention to him.”

“I won’t, Chanhee.”

Chanhee held out his sigh, he expected this to happen. 

“Okay, just let me know when’s the wedding, alright?”

“Goodbye, Chanhee.”

Changmin swore he heard Chanhee’s sobs before hanging up on the phone.

He doesn’t know how to react to what Chanhee a few minutes ago. Changmin walked back into the living room, finding his lover on the couch and wrapping his arms around them.

A few blocks away from Changmin’s place, Chanhee wrapped himself in his bedroom, finally released his bottled up emotions that he had been holding on for so long.

**Author's Note:**

> note: i left changmin's lover as unknown so you could interpret as another member or idol


End file.
